I am so downcast.  I am scared about a lot of things.  Financially, mentally, spiritually, personally.  I dont know if I can keep on this road.  Having a husband in the ministry is so hard.  I feel as though I cant attach to anybody, because 3 years later, we will be gone.  And we have poured into these ppl, and they into us.  I guess the personal fear is now outweighing the financial.  The financial can be temporary, and it will.  I feel like I've got my God and my family.  And that's it.  And to move away from my extended family will be extremely hard, given that is all I feel I have.  I dont feel I cant connect somewhere else, with anyone else because its so hard to just put that part of life behind me, so why connect?  Why give anymore?