Wednesday, January 19, 2011
I am so downcast. I am scared about a lot of things. Financially, mentally, spiritually, personally. I dont know if I can keep on this road. Having a husband in the ministry is so hard. I feel as though I cant attach to anybody, because 3 years later, we will be gone. And we have poured into these ppl, and they into us. I guess the personal fear is now outweighing the financial. The financial can be temporary, and it will. I feel like I've got my God and my family. And that's it. And to move away from my extended family will be extremely hard, given that is all I feel I have. I dont feel I cant connect somewhere else, with anyone else because its so hard to just put that part of life behind me, so why connect? Why give anymore?
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I can completely relate to this right now. We are a military family, so every 3 years we pick up and move. Normally we get to move into a community of other military, so the finding a friend challenge should not be so hard, but it is. I am completely alone except for God, my husband and my children. My closest extended family is a 14 hour drive away. I feel your pain, as they say. Know that there is another mom out here who is pouring herself into her family and loving it, but still praying for friend connections. All things for a reason is what I am keeping in mind right now. I know I must keep pushing forward, b/c it's not about me. My life is not going to last forever, so all I can do is give while I'm here. Not an easy task, but I try to stay focused on the benefits I can give to others even if I get nothing in return. I'll be thinking of you!
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